The Third Option
by FaylinnNorse
Summary: Little Mermaid's thoughts at the end of the story, Hans Christian Anderson style. Oneshot. EDITED


Disclaimer: I don't own The Little Mermaid, that would be good ol' Hans.

So some of you may remember this from before, it recently came to my attention that it was very, very short, so I decided I'd edit it and make it longer, so here it is! I hope you enjoy it, you can review it if you want, I would appreciate it, but if you already reviewed the first version you certainly don't _have_ to review this one as well. In any case the other one has been deleted, in case you were wondering.

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I loved the sea. I always had. I remembered when I used to swim beneath it, free from worry, free from pain. I'd swim through the bright coral and the soft, deep green seaweed and the silvery fish were always gliding about around me, but most of all I loved the wide open space and the endless blue. I loved the feeling of water all about me, the currents pushing me about, and the bubbles rising up around me. It was my home, my life. 

But there was another part of me, too, a part that never wanted to go back, a part that wanted to stay with my prince forever. I'll never forget when I first saw him, alone on his ship, with a wistful look in his eyes and his dark hair blowing in the wind. I would have given anything to know him, to be with him, to talk to him, but I'll never be able to talk to him now. He did love me, he'd said as much, but not in the way I loved him. To him I was a child, a shadow, an emblem of the woman I should have been, the woman he loved. I was a wraith-like figure fading into the mist in light of the love he had now. He was in love with his new wife, not me. Never me.

But I'd danced at his wedding, perhaps that was enough. I'd smiled and laughed, feigning my own happiness, so well that even I could almost believe it. I'd danced for everyone, but he was the only one I saw, the only one I lived for. I was light on my feet and everyone applauded my grace, but it was me who had to throw my blood-drenched slippers into the sea and feel the awful pain rippling up my legs.

I took a breath inward, feeling the cool air enter my lungs sharply. I squeezed my eyes shut and then brushed the fallen tears off of my cheeks. The grey clouds above rumbled ominously above the ship. Perhaps it would rain. I liked rain. It was like tiny drops of the ocean, falling from the sky back to the sea, back where they belonged. But I wouldn't leave the deck of that ship, not even if it there was a wild storm with thunder and lightning, threatening to tear me to pieces. Nothing in all the world could have made me leave the deck on that night, my last night.

I sighed. I had a choice to make. I took the knife from its place in the pocket of my dress and fingered the pearly handle. It was smooth and white and if I could just make myself use it, I'd be free. All I had to do was stab it into his heart and let his blood flow on my feet. I'd be a mermaid again, I could go home to my father and my sisters and swim in the deep. But I could never do it. I loved him too much to kill him. He would always separate me from the sea, just as the sea had separated me from him. I wasn't like him. I never would be. In my heart I'd always be the mermaid I'd been before.

The sea witch had told me I had two options: kill the prince and return to my mermaid form, or belong to her forever. I saw another, a third option. Some would later call it suicide, ceasing to exist, but I saw it as becoming what I always was, though in a bigger way than before. Once I had swam beneath the sea, riding in the waves, so completely and utterly content that I never dreamt of anything else. Then I had come out of and was found by my prince, on the shores. Whenever we'd walked together, I'd always bring him back there, where we could stand in the surf together and feel the sea tugging at the sand around our ankles, burying us deeper every moment. Perhaps I'd represented the sea to him, as something ethereal and enchanting, something more than a word and a place, more than a lot of water, but something alive. Perhaps he'd always remember me that way.

The sky was growing light in the east. I had to do this before sunrise. I tossed the knife into the water and ran. I ran across the wooden planks, then down into the ship's stern, to the cabin underneath. They lay in a hammock there together, the prince and his wife, just married. I pursed my lips together, hard. He was so perfect. His eyes were shut and he smiled slightly in his sleep. His dark hair waved over his forehead. I reached out to smooth it away from his eyes.

"I love you," I whispered softly into his ear. I kissed his cheek once, before leaving it all behind.

Up the stairs, back onto the top deck, to the rail. This was it. I drew a breath, then threw myself overboard, plunging into the cold, blue water. And I was free. Free from all the sorrow and the hurt, free from the misery that had taken over my life. The water was filling my lungs, I couldn't breathe, but I was happy, I was beginning to really live, sharing in the endless life of the sea. I thought of my prince, still asleep on his ship. Perhaps someday he'd see the foam on the sea and think of me. Perhaps he'd know that I wasn't sad anymore, that I was glad and I was what I'd always been, deep down. I was the sea.


End file.
